No Title Can Contain the Appropriate Level of Excitement

It's coming! It's coming! YOU GUYS, IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR MY TRIP!!!!

I leave TOMORROW for Europe and I won't be back for FIVE WEEKS!

FIVE WEEKS!

I'M FREAKING THE HELL OUT!!!! (Clearly.)

I finally managed to get my backpack down the paltry carry-on weight allowance. (Eight kilograms? Really, AirBerlin? Do you find that most of your passengers tend to carry on nothing but a tiny clutch containing a single sheet of paper and, like, two saltines? What gives?) The bright side to this absurdly low weight limit is that I will have no problem trekking around with my possessions (all eight kilograms of them) strapped to my back. The downside is that I had to jettison my more stylish outfits for practical things. Now all the Europeans will know I'm a tourist. I mean, if the giant backpack didn't give it away. (Okay, so maybe I'm not that much worse off than I was.)

My rail pass and train tickets have arrived. I've got fancy-schmancy Rail Pass Insurance that will protect me from Rail Pass Thieves. I have--get this--not just any rail pass but a first class rail pass for the entirety of France! (RailEurope was running a special promotion and first class rail passes were actually cheaper than second class.) You know that this means? Do you?! It means a SLIGHTLY WIDER SEAT and SLIGHTLY MORE LEG ROOM! Because if there's one thing most 5'2 women need in their public transport, it's more leg room. Regardless, I am excited to travel across my beloved France in theoretical, if not actual, luxury.

But I haven't confined my travel preparations to simply buying train tickets. Oh no! I've been--if you'll allow me to use the technical term--"GoogleMapping the shit out of everything." And I don't mean that I plugged in some addresses for directions from the train station to my hostel (although I've done that, too). I mean I went up into StreetView and spent a morning tootling around the English countryside so I could effectively plan the hike from my really remote rural hostel to the bus station. I made my mother "accompany" me. I made up a "Walking to Town" song. I think I might be more emotionally attached to GoogleMaps than I am to some people. Believe me when I say that I'm taking this crap SERIOUSLY.

And speaking of taking things seriously, can we talk about my itinerary? It is a six-tab GoogleDoc spreadsheet extravaganza that details not only my daily activities but also contains every detail of my trains, flights, and accommodations. It has directions to and from all my hostels. There is an entire tab devoted to foods I want to eat. Basically, it is your go-to reference if I disappear and you want to tell the State Department about the activities that led to my unfortunate demise. It can also double as a plot outline for the ludicrously-named Lifetime movie that will be based on my disappearance. Let's start spitballing titles now! I like The Trip of a Lifetime--it sounds suitably melodramatic and ominous and it advertises the network right in the title! Efficient--almost as efficient as my method of knapsack-packing (roll, don't fold)!

And yet, I still have a ton to do. I have to repack my backpack, since halfway through this week I realized that I was not done wearing some of the clothes that I'd already packed. There are prescriptions to fill, checks to deposit, international data plans to figure out (damn you, AT&T, why can't anyone give me a straight answer?!), batteries to charge, and lists to double-check, triple-check, and quadruple check. I have a lot on my mind, to say the least.

But this time tomorrow, I will be somewhere over the Atlantic, (hopefully) sleeping peacefully and gearing up for what will be--for better or worse--a grand adventure.

Allons-y!