Them Talkies Sure Are Swell!

More movies you should or should not see in your spare time.

The Bucket List
See it if you must. I mean, it was somewhat better than I expected, but I'm not about to rush out and buy it on DVD. Basically Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson are both dying (in the movie, not in real life!!! Calm down, for Pete's sake!!!) and they make a list of stuff to accomplish before they die. Or, rather, Morgan Freeman makes a list which Jack Nicholson then steals and edits to suit his own purposes. Madcap adventures ensue. We can learn several lessons from this movie:
- Don't be an ass about the way you manage your hospitals, because karma dictates that you yourself will soon be hospitalized in one of those dumps.
- Always check the weather before attempting to hike in the Himalayas.
- Men: when a woman much younger than you (and when I say "much younger" I mean "could be your granddaughter") hits on you in some random Asian bar, assume that your friend sent her.
- Ladies: if your husband has heart problems and you suddenly cannot find him, do not assume that he is "hiding." He is actually lying on the ground behind the bed convulsing just out of your frame of vision.
- When you have a terminal illness, abandoning your family to travel the world with some rando will kind of piss them off.
- Ditto for hiring guys to make your daughter's husband "disappear."

Dune
Long, confusing, and really, really weird. Jess and I only managed to make it through the movie because Jess's mom happened to be watching with us and explaining all the plot points (if, in fact, there actually were any). The basic idea, I guess, was that that in the deserts of Arrackis there is some kind of valuable spice and that interplanetary economy and politics were controlled by the mining thereof. I think that's what it was, anyway. And then there was...Paul. And he had dreams that were actually visions. And the bad guys (led by Sting and Creepy Fat Guy) killed his father...or, no, wait. Somebody (the Traitor...with a capital T) implanted a fake tooth in Paul's dad's head so he could kill the bad guy leader (aka Creepy Fat Guy) by biting down on it and blowing the poison inside said fake tooth (because who wants a fake tooth if it's not full of poisonous gases?) into the bad guy's face, thus killing him. However, Paul's dad, being apparently not the brightest bulb in the bunch, blows the poison into the face of the bad guy's minion, not the leader, thus pissing the bad guy off even more but not accomplishing much else other than that. (Seriously, Paul's Dad, what kind of leader are you that you can't even tell the difference between your arch enemy and his minion?! Really?!)

Anyway, Paul has been creepily dreaming about some girl, and he finally meets her and is all, "I've dreeeeeeamed about you (creepily)!" And the girl's all, "Really? Sweet. Let's make out." Meanwhile, her tribe or whatever makes Paul's pregnant mom their leader, she gives birth, and they ask Paul and his mother to teach them "the Weirding Way," not necessarily in that order. (Apparently, Paul and his mom are of Weirding descent, which is I guess some sort of race or ethnicity or something, and they have special powers. Can I just say though - the Weirding Way? Really?!) Anyway, Paul's sister is creepy and her facial features glow blue, which is - sadly enough - probably the least creepy thing about her. Seriously, I'm going to have a nightmare about her one of these days.

But yeah. Oh, I forgot to mention that Paul has managed to defeat/control the giant sandworms (think those giant sandworms in Beetlejuice) that live in the desert and prevent the easy acquisition of that pesky spice. (I italicize "spice" because that's how everyone always said it in the movie, with a really obvious emphasis, in case the audience hadn't yet realized that the spice was important to the movie.) I also forgot that every time any character had a thought, it was represented by a close-up of their face and an intense whispering voiceover.

But after speaking to other people in their heads for awhile (because that's the Weirding Way, natch), Paul, his mom, and his creepy sister manage to defeat the bad guys and make it rain on the planet Arrackis, which was apparently the goal all along (or not...? It's hard to tell. Plus I was pretty tired by that point.).

This movie literally changed my life. For example, using Arrackis as a metaphor for a middle eastern country like, oh, Iraq, I surmised that someday our crazy competition over the resources (the oil) there will lead to interplanetary--or at least international--warfare (oh, wait...). I also learned that whispering your thoughts in a very intense, urgent manner is always amusing. Jessalyn and I spent a good while practicing our own version of the Weirding Way:
Jess: Wow, I'm tired.
Me: I wonder what I'll have for lunch tomorrow.
Jess: I don't understand this movie.
Me: What exactly is "the Weirding Way?"

And so on. And then we imdb'd it and were amazed at its moderately good rating. Crazy stuff, man. Crazy stuff.

Roman Holiday
Ever since I saw To Kill A Mockingbird, I've loved Gregory Peck. My one question about Roman Holiday is this: WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG TO SEE IT?!

Gregory Peck = LOVE. I only wish I'd been born like 70 years earlier.

Splendor in the Grass
As much as I love Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday (or, okay, anything), that's how much I hated Bud's dad. My hatred for him is rivaled only by my hatred for Deanie's manipulative psycho-bitch of a mother. I hated her even more than Bud's dad, who earned points with me when he threw himself off a building. I spent most of the movie yelling "SHUT UP!!!" at the screen whenever either he or Mrs. Loomis was present.

Other than that, Splendor in the Grass was all right. It's one of Mich's favorite movies, and I will admit that Warren Beatty was quite the looker back in the day, and that Natalie Wood really has the whole "crazy eyes" thing down pat. It was okay, I thought. Not my new favorite (sorry, Mich), but okay.

Rachel Getting Married
It was good. It would have been better if it had been about 20 minutes shorter--there was way too much uninteresting footage of extras dancing around, etc., but the movie really made you feel excited, like you were one of the wedding guests, and Anne Hathaway's performance was incredible. It was such a different role for her, and I hope to see her in other interesting roles (ie, not the cookie-cutter good-girl princessy roles she's been wont to play in the past...the Princess Diaries, Ella Enchanted, etc. I am excluding Brokeback Mountain, of course, but she was only a background player there.)

Anyway, the movie's billed, I believe, as a "dark comedy," but it's definitely a drama. I didn't really laugh, but I definitely cried. And not just because I had a giant blister on my foot from using the walk to the movie theatre to break in my new boots.

Girl With A Pearl Earring
Yes, I finally saw it!!! Colin Firth was as sexy as sin, but other than that it was nothing special. I didn't really pay attention, to tell you the truth. The cinematography wasn't bad, but all in all the movie wasn't anything to write home about.

Little Miss Sunshine
I know, everyone and their mom has already seen this, but I finally got around to watching it over winter break--and it was nothing like I'd expected. It was funny, heartbreaking, touching, etc., etc., etc. If you haven't seen it yet, do it. Do it now.

The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice
Ridiculous. It involved Noah Wyle going around like an Indiana Jones knockoff, being all, "Hello, ladies, I'm a librarian."
Ladies: SWOON!!!

No, seriously. And he was trying to stop some sort of evil plot involving (you guessed it) the Judas chalice, the chalice Christ supposedly drank from at the last supper. And he's helped by some French chick who turns out to be - gasp! - a vampire! Just like the bad guy! Just like his minions! And just like Judas (allegedly). And then they got betrayed by someone - I don't remember who - and then at the end Noah Wyle's vampire lover kills herself by sitting with him on a bench at sunrise (which incinerates her, for those who aren't up on their vampire lore).

And there was a guy who kept calling Noah Wyle "Mistah Pro-fessah Man," which was demeaning on so many levels. Come on, now, people.

And I think that's about it...for now.

A Crime of Italics

I promised Mich I'd finish reading my stuff for religion class, but this is just ridiculous. The author of this very boring manifesto on cosmology is very fond of using long, flowery words with no dictionary definitions. (Words like "hierophany," for example. WTF does that mean? Why will you not explain, O Crazy Writer?!)

But that's not the most annoying bit. Oh no, that honor goes to the author's apparent obsession with italics, especially italics that make no sense. I'm quite sure that I've gone through entire books that were effective, clear, and direct without using italics AT ALL. So why does this author feel the need to italicize not only random words, but entire sentences?! It's indescribably annoying. But, hey, maybe it's fun to do. Let's try it out, shall we?

Today is Tuesday. This morning I woke up at quarter of ten because I didn't have class until two in the afternoon. Thus, I got to sleep in (you know you're totally jealous). I went to the gym but I'm so incredibly out of shape from all the eating I did over break that I wussed out after twenty minutes on the bike. I took a shower and met my two favorite on-campus Michelles for lunch at Collis. At two I went to class. After, I just hung around at home.

See?! Isn't that ANNOYING?!?! The worst part is that I'm not even exaggerating. It's that bad.

But I still need to finish, as "excessive italics" is not a valid excuse for failing to do the reading.

Right?

Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down: Winter Break Edition

And...here we are again.

THUMBS UP: That history paper from the last blog entry? Got a B on it!

THUMBS DOWN: It only took me until 2 am the day it was due because my printer decided to start omitting random letters from every page, and my prof probably wouldn't have been too pleased to hear about "King eorge." (That's "King George" for those of you who don't speak demented-printer-ese.)

THUMBS UP: The printer problem has since been taken care of...

THUMBS DOWN: ...but part of solving the problem involved canceling three weeks' worth of papers in queue. Oh, well.

THUMBS UP: Finals are over (and have been since Tuesday)!

THUMBS DOWN: I'm still not home yet...

THUMBS UP: ...because I'm in Boston on tour with the Subs.

THUMBS DOWN: A crazy ice storm hit New England, leaving people - including my family and much of my town - without electricity, running water, phone service, and heat.

THUMBS UP: I'm in a well-heated, well-lit Hampton Inn.

THUMBS DOWN: My friends' fish that I were taking care of over break? They weren't quite so lucky.

THUMBS SUPER-DOWN: Lots of dead fish.

THUMBS WAY, WAY DOWN: I have to break the news to said friends.

THUMBS UP: My friends are very understanding people. This is partly why I love them.

THUMBS DOWN: Remembering why I love them reminds me of how much I miss them.

THUMBS UP: I'll see them again...!

THUMBS DOWN: ...but not for two weeks, six days, and a few hours.

THUMBS UP: I get to see my friends back home...!

THUMBS DOWN: But not until they get out on break in like a week. Or five days. Whatever. It's a long time, okay?

THUMBS UP: Michelle, the peanut butter to my jelly, has a blog! As does Kelly!

THUMBS DOWN: Said blogs are not updated nearly enough to suit my creeper tendencies. =) (Get on that, would you, guys? Just kidding...ish.)

THUMBS UP: I finally got wireless access here on the fourth floor of the Hampton Inn...

THUMBS DOWN: ...but I have to sit on the ground next to the bathroom door facing the wall in order to get any signal at all.

THUMBS UP: There's a mirror on the wall, though, so I can indulge in narcissistic admiration of my own reflection.

THUMBS DOWN: This doesn't change the fact that sitting on the floor makes my butt hurt.

THUMBS UP: Going home tomorrow!

THUMBS DOWN: House is without heat, running water, power, phone, and any other amenities, making it feel more like an Navy SEAL exercise in torture endurance than home.

THUMBS UP: At least I'm not a fish?

Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down

Today sees the introduction of a new feature to this blog (possibly the only feature on this blog) entitled Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down. It's pretty self-explanatory.

THUMBS UP: I finished my Jewish studies paper and my proposal for the final paper.

THUMBS DOWN: I have a history paper due Monday at 10 am. I haven't really started it...ish.

THUMBS UP: But Monday at 10:01 will be the most glorious moment of my life, after which I only have my final Jewish studies paper as far as intense assignments go. And that'll be much easier than my history paper.

THUMBS DOWN: There are approximately 3 days, 17 hours and 51 minutes between me and the sweet glory of 10:01 on Monday.

THUMBS UP: Some people's bodies respond to stress by losing weight.

THUMBS DOWN: My body's response to stress is, "OMG!!! Eat your feelings!!! Look! An OATMEAL CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE!!!"

THUMBS UP: It was a really good cookie. Mrs. Fields...mmmm.

THUMBS DOWN: The sheer amount of work I have to do precludes my going to the gym to possibly feel less guilty about eating said cookie. Plus, there that whole "lacking endorphins when I most need them" thing.

THUMBS UP: My prof gave me a lot of good tips on paper-writing when I went to his office hours today.

THUMBS DOWN: It was totally intimidating hearing about all this stuff I didn't know to begin with.

THUMBS UP: Amrita did a project on the same topic in high school and she has offered to be my sounding board/editor of sorts.

THUMBS DOWN: WHY AM I SUCH A PROCRASTINATOR?!

To sum up: kiddies, no matter how quickly you usually work and how much you usually procrastinate, DON'T anymore. Or, if you must procrastinate, comment and let me know that you have been similarly screwed over by a class assignment (read: yourself).

The Follower: An Identity Revealed

I love you, Kelly.

Stereotypical Political/Election Post

I was going to update all evening, seeing as this is a historic (or, as some people insist on saying, AN historic) event and all, but then I got caught up in eating cotton candy and drinking generic cola in the common area downstairs while watching Indecision 2008. When the results came in on CNN, everyone jumped up and started screaming and hugging. It felt like New Years, but with some actual cultural significance. Here's hoping Barack Obama is better at keeping resolutions than I am.

So, in the spirit of excitement, Michi and David and I decided to walk to the Green, expecting that there would be some sort of gathering there. Wrong. We did, however, have fun lying in the (empty) street and taking pictures of us imitating the pedestrian symbol painted on the ground near the crosswalk. We then proceeded to walk around campus and return home in time to watch Obama's speech on Dee's laptop (yay for streaming television!). Apparently there are people on the Green now. I can here them screaming from all the way across campus. Jeez, you miss out on so much when you're ahead of your time like the three of us were. I seriously don't know what I'm going to do without Michi and David when they go to the Latino conference this weekend. I mean, we've already christened me an honorary Mexican. I should be an honorary candidate, too.

They're letting off fireworks now? Seriously? I mean, I know we're in New Hampshire and it's therefore legal (unlike in my lovely home state of Massachusetts, where people just drive fifteen minutes over the border to legally buy fireworks and then proceed to illegally set them off - loudly - in Massachusetts at inconvenient times, such as when one is trying to sleep or have a phone conversation), but come on! I feel so left out!

I have to be up at 7:00 tomorrow morning for 7:45 drill, and I still have some reading to do, so I'd better get going. But one more exciting (?) thing before I go - my blog has ONE follower.

Thanks, Mom, but I don't need your pity. That's why I moved out.

Just kidding. I don't know who this person is because I haven't bothered to check yet, but thank you. You are my light, my self-esteem-booster, my--

Oh shoot, I left my laundry in the laundry room. I haven't switched to the dryer yet. Now I have to leave it there overnight. 

Fiddlesticks.

Some Political Commentary for You, Sir or Madam?

In celebration of the fact that I registered to vote yesterday (and got two stickers saying so which I proudly wore around campus), I'm going to share some in-depth political commentary from Jess and me (mostly Jess, because she actually watched the debate, whereas I'm still trying to figure out my cable hookup).

Jess is green, I'm tan.

McCain's catchphrase is "my friends"
look, my friends
see, my friends
it goes like this, my friends
...
i can't keep up with these two, they just bounce around
"by the way, my friends"
oh, john mccain
...
"we've got to drill offshore my friends"
they are basically ignoring the questions and attacking the other and defending against the other, lol
well, that's politics for you
...
obama just talks and talks and talks
he has one minute
and then like
he just goes
and goes
and goes
and goes
does he now?
he does
xD
when is this supposed to end?
no idea
tomorrow at 4am at this rate

Odes to College Life (So Far)

I'm feeling poetic today, so I figured I'd go back to my true literary calling: haikus. I did them once before (about working at the MB) with great success (honk honk*), so why not do some more?

(*the sound of me tooting my own horn)

Of course, I haven't worked at the Basket in, oh, four weeks on account of the fact that I now live two hours away from it, so I needed to find a new topic, and that new topic is college living. So, without further ado...

Ode to the Drunk People Outside
I know you like beer
I know you like to party
But I want to sleep

Ode to My MacBook
It took me awhile
To learn how to copy/paste
But it's all good now.

Ode to the Weather
When I don't have class
Sun shines. When I do have class
I walk in the rain.

Ode to Drill
Seven-forty five:
"Parlez français avec nous!"
Shoot me, s'il vous plait.

Ode to My Mini-Fridge
You make weird noises
But you hold all my junk food
So I love you lots.

Second Ode to My MacBook
I procrastinate
But now with my new MacBook,
I do it way more.

Ode to Febreeze Extra-Strength Spray
Without you, Febreeze,
My dorm room would still smell like
Dust and sweaty feet.

Ode to My Parents
I love you so much!
Life's not the same without you!
Please send more money!

The Joys of College Living

1. My college ID picture is far more flattering than my drivers' license picture.
2. Free food everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
3. Free stuff, too - key chains, magnets, pens, clips, mini flashlights, drinking cups, bags, tee shirts, condoms...you name it, someone is giving it away.
4. With the miracle of mini-fridges, one never has to make the grueling walk from bedroom to kitchen in the middle of watching TV.
5. New MacBook!!! (Fun fact: My MacBook's spellchecker keeps telling me I'm spelling "MacBook" incorrectly, which is funny because I just copy it directly off the logo under the screen that says "MacBook.")
6. Skype! (Although this is also a downside, because if all my friends and family were still around there would be no need for Skype.)
7. Always something to do. I usually opt to go chill in my room, but should I ever feel the need to play pong at 1:30 in the morning, I could.
8. I can drink orange juice straight out of the carton (and not just when it's almost gone...today I opened a brand-new orange juice - Tropicana, the only good kind - and unapologetically drank it straight from the carton. Sorry, Mom.)
9. Added perks for me: giant room to myself in a quad with a common room and full bath. My suitemates are all wicked nice, too.

Now, if only I could figure out what to do about those pesky classes...

Quick Post

A quick round-up of the events of this past week:

- Went hiking on pre-college freshmen trip. We backpacked over 22 miles of the Appalachian Trail in New Hampshire. It was moderately intense, which is still more intense than I was prepared to deal with. Luckily, we managed to miss most of the bad weather from Hurricane Hanna, because we got to sleep in CABINS!!!

- Met Daneille, one of my suitemates. She and her mom came over for dinner, which was nice. I think this year will be a good one, living-situation-wise.

- Second episode of Bones was leagues better than the season premiere. Still not quite up to snuff, though. And seriously, people online need to go easy on Sweets. He is becoming one of my favorite characters.

- The one week I miss Psych (last Friday, see above, re: backpacking) is the one week USA doesn't post the episode online. And it was also a good one, apparently.

- Tonight's episode of Psych was also good. I'm bummed that it won't be back until January, though.

- I am done with working at the Basket...until Thanksgiving/Christmas, anyway. I still need to go pick up my paycheck, though, so I can buy a sicknasty pair of Chucks. Or, you know, use it to pay off some school-related expenses. One is fun; one is responsible. I cannot decide which to go with.

- Facebook's new layout sucks. Just saying.

Now I'm off to clean up my disaster area of a room, maybe do some packing, and catch the 12:30 re-run of the Soup. Later, dudes.