It's hard to write a title when your post is this random.

Oh, well, look, isn't the Dartmouth campus just beautiful all covered in snow after yesterday's first snow of the season?

No. No, it is not.

I have come to the conclusion that there is a distinct difference between snowing and just plain snow. I like the former. The latter can go straight to Hades. (I know that that's not possible for snow, being melty and all. But I can fantasize.)

So while last night was beautiful and all silent-night-holy-night-y, today I'm left with some dirty gray crud all over the ground, making it impossible to walk anywhere without running the risk of slipping and falling and looking like a tool that hasn't lived in New England for the past 20-odd years.

Before the snow came along to liven up my travels with all the risks associated with walking on it, however, I had to find other ways to entertain myself as I walked around campus. "Haven't you ever heard of an iPod, Renée?" you might say. Well yes, snarky inquisitor, I have. But it's hard to listen to your iPod when you consistently leave it at home. And while phone calls are a good way to pass the time, they don't work so well when the potential recipient of your call is already most likely asleep. (No good conversation begins with, "Did I wake you up?" "...Yes.")

At any rate, I had to make my own traveling fun. And so I came up with the following: three word movie summaries. Try it the next time you're in line to badger Santa with your increasingly selfish and elaborate list of Christmas demands. It's actually quite challenging and relatively amusing. (Not as amusing as, say, a phone call or a Lady Gaga song, but whatever.)

Pride and Prejudice: First impressions lie.
The Princess Bride: True love forever!
The Silence of the Lambs: Cannibals know everything.
Bend It Like Beckham: Hey! Soccer's fun!
Dune: Get the spice!
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: What. The. Hell.
Pursuit of Happyness: Being poor sucks.
I Am Legend: I am angsty.
Crash: Everyone is racist.
Atonement: Liars kill people.
Roman Holiday: Italy is romantic.

See? Fun! And simple! I need simplicity after the term from hell. And finals. And after writing my literary theory paper about class consciousness and patriarchy in Gilmore Girls. Seriously, I will never be able to watch a Friday Night Dinner scene again without contemplating Rory's deep entrenchment in the middle class. I think I may have ruined (for the foreseeable future, anyway) this show for myself. Or made it more interesting. I'm not sure yet.

At any rate, I'm finished until March (woohoo!), at which point I will begin taking all my classes in French (oh $#!%). The bright side to that is that I'll actually be in France, which is I guess sort of a consolation prize for the major confusion I will be most likely be suffering at that time.

And Christmas is coming! The goose is getting fat! Please put a penny in the old man's hat! (What, really? I'm the only one that knows that song?) Except if you're going to put a penny anywhere, could you maybe put it in my Bank of America account? Kappa Delta dues really cleaned me out this term.

If you haven't got a penny, a ha'penny will do. And as the song says (I'm paraphrasing here), if you haven't got a ha'penny get the hell out of the way, you're of no use to me.

Aaaannnd merry Christmas.